Stalker
by In memory of wicked fire
Summary: After putting up with his abusive boyfriend, Bou finally works up the courage to break up with him. But when Bou finds love from another, the ex vows that if he can't have Bou, nobody can. Antic Cafe fic. Bou/OC, Kanon/Bou one-sided , Bou/?.?.?
1. Preface

**Title: Stalker**

**Length: 1/?**

**Rating: PG-13 (subject to change)**

**Warnings: Language, abuse, yaoi-naughtiness later on ^_~**

**Pairings: Bou & OC, Kanon & Bou (one-sided), other pairing to be revealed, or discovered later**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my OC character, who is not intentionally based off of anyone**

**Summary: After putting up with his abusive boyfriend, Bou finally works up the courage to break up with him. But when Bou finds love from another, the ex vows that if he can't have Bou, nobody can.**

* * *

**Preface**

_So here I was, alone in a bar... not exactly the kind of place I had expected to go, or end up at for that matter. But Teruki was with family, Kanon was sick and Miku was out of town for an interview. So I was stuck here, alone, in a bar. _

_I couldn't shake the feeling that people were staring at me. Could've been because I decided to be Bou today and wear my girly clothes, rather than being Kazuhiro Saito and look like a boy. I don't know... there's just something about dressing like a girl and wearing the makeup and the skirts that makes me feel... comfortable. I'm jealous of girls and the beauty they have. I guess that's why I mimic it... or try to, at least._

_So people were staring, either because of the way I was dressed, or because of the way I was dressed. ...Well, by that I mean, either they were staring because they knew who I was, therefore they knew I wasn't a girl, or they were staring because they had no idea that I wasn't a girl and were... you know... _staring_._

_I sighed to myself while playing around with the straw that bobbed up and down in my red Shirley Temple. Yeah, I know, there's no fruitier drink out there than a Shirley Temple, but they taste good, and I didn't want to get piss-drunk for no reason. My head was in my hand, which was propped up against the very unclean-looking bar table, and I wondered, since I was clearly bored out of my mind and slightly uncomfortable, why was I still here?_

_Having enough of the dreary look of the bar's interior and the greasy men that __inhabited__ it, I pulled my wallet out of the pocket of my white hoodie to pay for the drink and turned around to leave, when all of a sudden, my life changed forever, when _he_ walked toward me._

_I stared out at him and couldn't help but think how utterly good-looking he was, like a model or something. He had light brown hair with random stand-out blond highlights and brown eyes that sparkled even in this pit of gross darkness, and his facial features and body, from what I could tell, were in perfect, __chiseled__ shape. Simply put, he was _gorgeous_._

_I'd never put my sexual orientation out there. I think if you knew me well enough, then you'd see that I pretty much like both sexes. On the other hand, __it__ would be hard to tell, because rarely are bands asked about personal things like relationships and sexuality. But when the question was asked to the band, my answer would be about girls, as were the rest of the band's answers, not because we were all trying to hide something, but because girls were the key sex asked about in topics like that, such as "What do you look for in a girl?" or "What was your worst dating experience?" ...Though, for that question, we would answer with female dates to avoid confusion or the unavoidable awkwardness that came when the same sex was mentioned... All of the members of the band liked girls, but it was... a silent code, I guess, that we didn't talk about when it came to boys. Either we just knew or we never asked, but more importantly, we pretty __much accepted whatever romantic decisions that someone in the band made._

_This was what made me want to explore the boundaries of bisexuality (well, bi-curiousness, at that moment) a bit further. Not to say that I hadn't; I would occasionally find a guy that I thought was physically attractive, but I never acted on it. If they had the personality of my bandmates along with the looks, I would be happy. But I would be happy with either gender as long as they loved me for hyper, cross-dressing me._

_I felt my face heat up looking at him and quickly turned around as I saw him coming closer, still sitting on the bar stool and neurotically taking a large sip of my drink while silently cursing myself for not taking my cigarettes with me. As expected, more like, as I'd hoped, he walked up to me... I could feel it. It's one of those things that you just know without looking, like the creepy stares from the drunks across the bar. I grew tense as I could feel my whole back, the back _he_ was approaching, grow hotter and hotter until-_

_"Hey there."_

_I jumped, spilling my some of the red drink that I was nervously gripping onto the bar countertop. I know I should have prepared for it, I thought I did, but something in me panicked. Being close to someone like...that, got me flustered._

_I felt him back away a bit, startled as well. "I'm sorry, miss. I didn't mean to frighten you."_

_My heart leapt as I soaked in every word and tried to preserve it into my memories; his voice was so smooth, like velvet. I tried my best to regain my composure, but still couldn't get up the courage to face him, literally._

_"I-it's okay, I'll be fine," I replied quickly, still facing away from him, to which I cursed myself for doing, again. If he looked _that _perfect from far away... man, I was _dying_ to know how he looked up close. But still, my nerves were getting the better of me._

_"Let me make it up to you, " he said, gently placing a hand on my shoulder. Little did he know that his hand felt like it was burning right through me. "I'll buy you a drink."_

_I stuttered at first, trying to say something to make him realize... "U-umm...I-I, well...no, you don't h-have...to..." _

_"But I want to." I could feel him smiling through the way he said that, and guilt rushed over me. He thought I was someone else, and my conscious was yelling at me to set him straight. Why was this so hard? I'd done it so many other times before... My heart was racing when I finally turned to face him._

_I wore no makeup that day, so, unlike my perception of him, which was _so _much better than his looks from far away, what he thought I was from far away, he could more or less tell close-up, and I could tell that he could tell, as he took another surprised step back._

_"...You...I mean, you're not a- a- umm....I mean, well, you're a...."_

_I shook my head, feeling badly for tricking him, even if it was unintentional. "Yeah, I'm not a girl. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to confuse you..." I couldn't even look at him, so I stared a hole into the floor._

_He took a step back forward, clearing his throat of his own stuttering. "N-no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean offense, I was just... well... aren't you Bou, from Antic Cafe?"_

_I looked up. 'Figures that's why he came over, he's just a fan...' I thought, defeated. "Yeah, I am. And you're a fan, right?"_

_I was not prepared for the answer he gave me in return. "Not really," he said chuckling, "I mean, I suppose I could be if I knew your music at all, but I just recognized you from a magazine I read."_

_"You've never heard our music?"_

_"Well, I've only heard a couple of your songs on the radio, but to be honest, I only matched the music with the faces just recently." He looked embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand to comfort himself. "Two weeks ago, I probably would have never recognized you." He flashed a meek, but still beautiful smile. It was contagious, and I couldn't help but smile back._

_"I'm sorry," he spoke suddenly, "I didn't mean to offend you or anything..."_

_I laughed, probably looking a bit crazy to him, but still couldn't help but laugh nonetheless. "Don't worry, it's fine. I'm actually glad you don't really know us. I mean, I'm always happy to see the Cafekko, our fans, but it gets tiring sometimes. I just wish I could go away from being Bou and be...normal, I guess." I forced out a hopeless laugh._

_"Is that why you're in a place like this?" We looked at each other at the same time, I probably looked confused. "Just," he continued, "you don't exactly fit the...charming qualities this place has to offer." He looked around the drab bar to emphasize._

_He was right. This place sucked, and yet I still was wondering why I was here in the first place. "You look too good to be here, too, you know." Realizing what I'd just said, I blushed, quickly looking down again so he wouldn't see._

_"Yeah, well, they closed down my favorite bar a couple of days ago, _Moonlight_, and I was desperate," he laughed again._

_Snapping myself out of the trance that that divine laugh had put me in, I jumped back into conversation. "Oh, you mean the one on Sakura Ave.?"_

_He nodded vigorously, "The very one... They're gonna turn it into another McDonald's." He looked visibly disgusted._

_"I'm sorry..."_

_"Oh! No, it's okay, I'll live, I just really liked that place." We both laughed, finally getting a look into each other's eyes and turned away, blushing._

_"So...ummm... do you still not want that drink?"_

_I looked back at him, shocked. "Seriously? You're still offering?"_

_"Yeah," he smiled._

_"...You do know that I'm not a girl, right? And that only leaves one other gender..." I shot him a skeptic look._

_He laughed again, "Yes, yes, I know. But, I'm not looking for anything so...fast. There's nothing wrong with just talking, is there?"_

_My skepticism instantly went away after that. "Really? Y-yeah, okay."_

_He grinned and sat in the empty stool next to me, ordering me an alcoholic drink that I didn't quite catch the name of. He turned back to me and we smiled simultaneously. But an obvious question popped into my head...._

_"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?"_

_"Oh yeah, where are my manners? I'm Toshihiro Kimura. But that's just for work. You can call me Toshi."_

_I giggled at his mannerisms. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Toshi-san," I said, bowing my head a couple of short times._

_In the midst of rising, he took my hand and kissed it, making me blush more intensely than any other time. "And it is a delight to meet you, Bou-san."_

~*~*~*~*~*~

And that was how we met, a shining face in a bleak dive. Who would've figured that one, huh? But up until that moment, I'd never been put in that sort of position. I would be the charmer for girls, but I'd never been the one charmed before. I got put in situations like this before: getting hit on by guys who would mistake me for a girl, then excuse themselves when they realized, feeling embarrassed. But Toshi was different. In his mind, I went from a girl to a guy in 5 seconds flat, yet he barely flinched, and he was the first to not feel like he'd royally messed up like the others. It was new and exciting, yet very flustering. But overall, I liked this feeling. It made me warm up, inside and unfortunately outside, which I tried my best to hide from him. We ended up talking for 2 hours at the bar, getting a bit drunk, but still sober enough to remember the other's name and most of the conversation. He gave me his phone number so we could set up a date for next time. His words, so beautifully said, "Next time", rang in my head. There was going to be a next time, and that put me so high up on cloud nine that not even God could bring me down. I hate to say that it was love, but I couldn't deny the chemistry we had at the bar. It felt great and, for once, I was finally willing to pursue it...

That was how it started, 6 months ago.... Now, I just want it to end.

* * *

A/N: So, quite a lot of people were asking me, or asking in general, for a new Antic Cafe story to read because, let's face it, the only one's really going are...none T_T So, I'm going to put my best into this, even if it is going slow at the moment ^_^"

...LJ's editing system is so lame...There, I had to edit this 6 times to get the formatting the way I wanted...Though this is from WordPad to LJ XP

This was just the intro, the "get to know the characters better" part. Like Toshi, who is not who he appears to be...clearly XD

Anyways, updates will be soon, since most of it is pre-written already X3 R&R!

* * *


	2. The Weight of the World on his Shoulder

**Title: Stalker**

**Length: 2/?**

**Rating: PG-13 (subject to change)**

**Warnings: Language, abuse, yaoi-naughtiness later on ^_~**

**Pairings: Bou & OC, Kanon & Bou (one-sided), other pairing to be revealed, or discovered later**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my OC character, who is not intentionally based off of anyone**

**Summary: After putting up with his abusive boyfriend, Bou finally works up the courage to break up with him. But when Bou finds love from another, the ex vows that if he can't have Bou, nobody can.**

* * *

**Chapter 1 -THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON HIS SHOULDER**

_"Toshi, stop, please! It wasn't my fault! I-"_

_The plea was cut short by an open hand connecting with his face, knocking him backwards. "Cut the crap! You knew, stop lying."_

_He regained his composure and stood up to Toshi. "I'm not lying, Toshi... I was busy, with rehearsals and... I just forgot! I'm sor-"_

_With one hand viciously gripping his arm, Bou was pinned to the wall behind him before he could finish. He let out a small cry in pain, clenching his teeth to shorten the agony._

_"Oh, so you care more about _them _than me?!" His voice boomed throughout the room at he stood over Bou. Tears started to form in Bou's eyes._

_"No! That's not what I said-"_

_Another blow, this time to the stomach, sending him to the ground, hunched over and writhing in pain. Bou was in the midst of a coughing fit, trying to get air back into his lungs, and couldn't prepare for his boyfriend reaching over and grabbing a fistful of blond hair. "AAAHH!" He couldn't hold it in anymore and screamed._

_"Shut the hell up! God, you never shut the fucking hell up!" Toshi yanked on Bou's hair harder, only causing him to scream louder._

_As a last attempt, he resorted to begging, anything to get away from the pain again. "Toshi, please... No more..." He wanted it to come out strong, loud and clear, but it came out hoarse, as a faint whisper. "I'm sorry..."_

_"Sorry? You're _sorry?_ I'LL TEACH YOU SORRY!" His hand was raised over his head again, with Bou as its target._

_"TOSHI!!"_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Bou shot up from his bed, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. Fearing that his dream was a reality, he frantically looked around.

"Oh, God...okay, it's okay, it was just..." He sighed and stood up from his bed, still feeling his legs shake as he walked, an aftershock from his nightmare.

He went to the bathroom and turned on the faucet, causing cold water to stream down. Shakily he cupped the water in his hands and splashed it onto his face to rid him of the beadlets of sweat. He then took a good look at himself in the mirror above the sink. He looked tired, his eyes slightly bloodshot, and then noticed something peculiar.

Shirtless, Bou got a clear look at the severely large brown and blue bruise that covered his upper right arm and part of his shoulder. It was then that Bou realized that his nightmare was not a figment of his imagination, but a recollection of an event from two nights ago. Horrified, he cautiously lifted the hand on his undamaged side and poked the bruised mass. Pain instantly shot to all of his senses, making him grit his teeth and wince.

"Oh no, what happened? It wasn't this bad yesterday..."

He had been so preoccupied with his nightmare that he didn't notice the bruise or the pain at first, but now, it was all the blond could think about. He tried lifting his arm and rolling it around in different ways, trying to get used to the pain, but the movement only made it worse. He stopped when he moved it to a spot that made him cry out.

His mini exercise was interrupted by his cellphone vibrating. Bou walked out of the bathroom and picked up his phone where a text from Miku patiently waited:

"Bou dont 4get we have practice 2day... Try not 2 b late again!"

"Oh man..." Bou said again. "I completely forgot..."

He glanced over to see as much as he could of the mark on his arm. _'I can't go to rehearsals like this! They're gonna notice that I can't hold my guitar right.' _

After another minute, he finally decided to grin and bear it, and go to rehearsals. He couldn't let anyone get suspicious.

He decided against dressing like Bou today, and threw on a loose white T-shirt, along with another loose plaid button-up T-shirt, to save anymore hurt from his arm, and baggy sweatpants. And he was out the door a few minutes later.

~*~*~*~*~

To no surprise of anyone, Bou arrived to the studio late, but only by 15 minutes, which, in Bou time, was early. He walked into the room with his guitar in his good hand and removed the hat and sunglasses that disguised him.

"Sorry I'm late!" He bowed in apology.

"_This _is _late_ to you, Bou-kun? You should be "late" more often!" Teruki joked from behind his drum set.

Bou rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah..."

"Well the point is that you're here," Miku chimed in, shining his 100-watt smile to the blond before him. "Let's get going, shall we?"

Bou nodded and walked to his designated place to the left of Miku. Kanon smiled at Bou as he walked by, but only got a meek, distracted smile-attempt in return, making the bassist worry instantly.

"Alright, ready??" Miku shouted enthusiastically.

"YEAH!!!" The band returned the enthusiasm.

"Okay! One...two...one two san hai!"

The band played a second after the cue, skilled enough to play on beat and in the right tempo in an instant's notice. They played a set of songs, including some new songs from the upcoming album. Bou's guitar riffs surprisingly did not change despite his injury, but only because he was trying his hardest to suck it up and make it seem like nothing was wrong, which he pulled off perfectly. During drums or bass solos, however, he took the time to slouch his arm from its tensed state, bringing a wave of great, if only slight, relief, before playing again, something Kanon took notice to.

After almost an hour the band took a break, and Miku and Teruki left the room in search of something to eat. Kanon took this opportunity to confront his best friend.

"Umm...Bou, are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, fine," Bou replied without looking at him, placing his guitar on its stand. "Where'd the guys go?"

"They went to the vending machines," Kanon answered as he watched Bou repeat the stretching routine that he'd done just hours earlier back at home.

"Oh. How come you didn't go with 'em?" Bou wasn't into this conversation much. He was fading in and out, his mind was focused on last night, even though he was trying to focus off of the pain.

Kanon sighed. "Cut it out, Bou. You know why I stayed behind." He shot Bou a serious look, to which the blond countered with an annoyed look of his own. After another second of the glare match, Bou relented and walked over to a chair nearby, away from Kanon.

Kanon was on his heels, kneeling down in front of Bou who refused to look him in the eye. "I'm not like Miku and Teruki, you know. I know something happened. So tell me."

Frustrated, Bou spun his head in Kanon's direction. "Well, if you're not Miku or Teruki, then you should know _what _happened," he snapped.

The bassist tensed in shock of his friend's outburst, and both were silent.

"...Kanon, I'm sorry, really..."

Kanon didn't respond vocally, merely putting a hand on the guitarist's knee in a feeble hope to comfort him. "Bou..."

Abruptly, Bou stood up, running a hand through his hair, agitated. "Yeah, okay, it was Toshi. So what?"

Kanon rose from his crouched position, walking toward the other who stood with his back toward him. In a sudden move, he took Bou by both shoulders and spun him to face Kanon, making Bou cry out in pain by his grip.

"OW!! Ahh, Kanon, what the hell-"

In another swift move, Kanon pushed the first T-shirt off of Bou's shoulders, and pulled up the sleeve of the second one, exposing the massive wound. Both stood frozen, mortified. One was, because of the injury, and one was, because of the discovery of the painful secret.

Finally, he got the courage to speak, though it came out very hushed and shaky. "Bou...how long are you going to let Toshi do this to you?"

Kanon wasn't expecting an answer, he never got an answer to that question. Bou pulled his shirts back up roughly, uncaring of the painful reaction from the bruise, and walked away from Kanon, who didn't move. Kanon sighed again. "...Can you at least tell me why he did this, again?"

"I just got home late from practice the night before, that's all. I forgot to call him, and when I got home, he got mad at me and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it. Did you say he got to you at _your house_??? How did he even get in? Did he break in or what-"

"I don't know, okay? He was just there, not like I was surprised or anything, but..." Bou trailed off, now facing his prosecutor/friend.

"How can you _not _be surprised??? Bou, he was in your house! And he doesn't have a key, right? He's stalking you!"

"He is not-"

"Yes, he IS, Bou!! Why else would he be in your apartment, beating you up for coming home, to _your own home_, late???"

Bou rushed over to Kanon, and placed a hand over his mouth, shushing him. "Kanon, shut up, I don't want anyone else to hear! And you promised me that you would keep this a secret."

"I know, I know..." Kanon replied, moving Bou's hand off of his mouth. "But that bruise, and every other 'accidental' injury is more or less screaming out the secret to anyone who sees you and you know it."

"... You know it's times like this I wish I didn't end up at your doorstep. Then I wouldn't have to go through this every time: You being know-it-all detective Kanon, and me being the helpless little victim girlfriend..."

~*~*~*~*~

_"Why do have to be such an ass all the time?"_

_"Oh, _I'm_ the ass, huh?"_

_"Did I stutter?"_

_"Well, if that's how you feel, then you can get yourself home!"_

_"...You're kicking me out?"_

_"Did I stutter? Huh? Sound familiar?"_

_"But Toshi-"_

_"I said get out of the car!"_

_"Please, if you'd just let me explain-"_

_"Get out of the car or I'll shove you out myself! Do you think I'm fucking around?"_

_"...No, but-"_

_"Then get the fuck out! I can't even stand to look at you...stupid bitch."_

_"...Fine."_

_I didn't retaliate anymore than that. How could I? And what good would it do? I'd just make him more angry, and that would only make things worse..._

_We were driving through a neighborhood as a shortcut back to my place at the time of our...umph-teenth argument. We'd had so many arguments that I'd lost count, even though we'd only been dating for 3 months... Toshi roughly pulled up to a sidewalk curb and stopped the car. Literally the second I stepped out of the passenger side of the car, he hit the gas pedal so hard that the opened door swung back from the force, bumping me hard and knocking me backwards to the ground. I lifted my head to see him drive away without a second thought as he leaned across the interior to close the door. I kept watching him until he was out of sight._

_"Dammit!" I hit ground with my fists. I was so frustrated that I only noticed then that it was snowing. I slowly rose to my feet, stumbling at first, and touched my right side, the side that was hit by the car door. But it was really my head that hurt most, as I'd hit it on the sidewalk as a result of my fall. I started shivering and clutched onto myself to try to keep myself warm, wondering why I didn't bring a coat when it was the middle of December. It was then that I remembered that I had brought my coat, but it was in the back of Toshi's car._

_Defeated, I started walking home, even though I didn't have a clue where I was. I still had my cell phone, but it had a dead battery. Why didn't I buy a new charger for it? Procrastination is a real bitch... I was extremely thankful that I didn't leave _that_ in Toshi's car, too, but I was usually very careful when it came to my personal items such as my phone. I didn't want Toshi to get any contact information that I hadn't given him myself, especially of my loved ones. I didn't fear for their safety so much as I feared that they would find out Toshi's true nature, the one that I had spent months fabricating in order to make it seem like I had the perfect relationship. But I doubted that I was destined for the "perfect" relationship, I didn't believe I was worth something so trivial, and Toshi had made it clear that he was the best that I was ever going to get. I wasn't going to challenge that, I was already regretting challenging him in the car moments ago. I should know better than to speak out like that..._

_But what was done was done, and with that decided, I focused my thoughts elsewhere... like street signs, hoping they would be the clue I needed in order to get home before I got too cold, even though that wasn't working out so well since I get cold pretty easily. I was wearing jeans and a light sweatshirt at the time, grateful to whoever occupies the heavens that I didn't dress as Bou. But even that wasn't enough to keep me warm. I looked at each street sign I walked by: North avenue. Akira avenue. Cat street. Somehow, all of these names rang a bell, but I couldn't process where or how I knew them, my head was hurting too much._

_It was only when I got to South Meadow street that it hit me: I was in Kanon's neighborhood. At least, I thought I was. By then, the snow had made it hard to read the signs, not to mention that everything was only visible to me because of the light shining from the street lights. I checked again and, sure enough, I was within walking distance of Kanon's house. I was beyond thankful that I had at least an indication of where I was dropped off. But I stood in front of the street sign, contemplating. I knew how to get home from here. I also knew that it would be 6 miles away, and I really didn't have much energy left. It had all been sucked out in my attempt to stay warm. So, I could try to suck it up and keep walking home. Or, I could walk the half mile it took to get to Kanon's house from here, which seemed like the logical choice. But I didn't want to risk anyone knowing the secret I'd put so much energy in telling, my secret double life that I didn't want to burden anybody with. I mean, it wasn't their burden to bear, so why bother? Either way, I was exhausted, with walking and lying. Resolving that preserving my life was more important than preserving my lie, I took a right, headed for Kanon's house._

_It was another 20 minutes until I got to his house. My legs were buckling underneath me more and more each passing minute, and I was shivering so badly that I was convinced that I would seize, if what I was experiencing wasn't a seizure already. I felt the snowflakes piling up on top of me, and I could've sworn that they were making me heavier. I'd looked down at my feet walking on the sidewalk, hoping that that would somehow trick my mind into believing that I was covering more distance, rather than looking up, and seeing each house pass me by ever-so slowly._

_I finally managed to lift my heavy head and see my holy grail, Kanon's home, which I swear was lit up and sparkling like a jewel in my eyes. I looked in his driveway, only to take a punch to the gut since his car was nowhere in sight. Bu I couldn't have cared less at that point. Deciding to just wait until he came home, I made my way up the stairs of the wooden porch that sat outside of Kanon's front door. Trembling, I exerted my last bit of energy to lift my hand and try turning the doorknob in case the door was unlocked. While my grip on it was very weak, I was sure that it was locked, Kanon wasn't one to leave his house unsecured. I can't remember anything beyond that, except for giving up, leaning against his doorway for the support my legs could no longer give me, and sinking down, succumbing to the numb weight I had carried around for what felt like hours, when it truth, I could have very well been walking around for possibly less than an hour... I looked up at the sky, exhausted. I'm not sure why, maybe I was looking for the sky to give me some sort of sign, a miracle, anything. Seeing that that was unobtainable, I let the snow pile on top of me, wondering where the snow had originated from in that void, dark night sky hanging so solemnly over me. That answer was also unobtainable._

_And then everything went dark._

~*~*~*~*~

_"What a bother..." I muttered, in disbelief that I had gone so far into town having left my wallet at home... again. I drove back, debating on whether to drive quickly in order to retrieve it faster and not get "coincidentally" pulled over by a cop without my license, or whether to just be patient and drive normally in order to not get pulled over by a cop without my license _and _speeding. Not to mention that it was snowing pretty hard out at that point, compared to the amount that the sky was spitting out just an hour ago. With my windshield wipers going back and forth as fast as I could make them and the heat in my car cranked up to make my car feel like a sauna, I decided that I was in no rush to get home, and could just go shopping tomorrow, depending on how much more snow was to fall overnight._

_I arrived at my house a few minutes later. I got out, shot immediately by the intense cold sensation, which made heating my car up seem kind of pointless. My house and porch were blanketed in white, but as I looked down to walk up the steps, I noticed indents that were less covered by the snow, not matching of the rest of the scenery. I lifted up my foot, noticing that it had the same shape as the indented tracks in the snow, and got anxious. I was sure that someone had come to my house, but because I didn't know who, I walked up the rest of the steps with caution._

_My first thought was that it was a burglar. You hear about celebrities' houses getting broken into all the time, but burglaries can happen to anybody. Then I thought it was probably just a friend or maybe a family member that had come to visit me while I was away, but I would have gotten a call from them, right? Stumped, I slowly approached my front door, not sure what to expect. It wasn't until I was only a few feet away at the top of the porch that I saw a large object blocking my doorway, but I couldn't tell what it was because it was covered by a layer of snow. Connecting this to the footprints, I gasped. It wasn't an object, it was a person._

_Frantically, I rushed over and bent down to their level, still unsure of who it was. "Hey, wake up! Are you okay?" I jumped backed a bit when I saw the person twitch in a quick movement, which I wasn't expecting for some reason. I needed light, so I unlocked my door and carefully stepped over the person at my doorstep. Inside, I turned on the porch lights and the light to my living room, illuminating the mysterious figure. I crouched down again and started dusting the snow off of them. I wasn't prepared for who lay under the snow._

_"Bou?" _

* * *

**A/N:** My computer is broken. Again. And I'm using my grandparents' -_- Thank goodness for flashdrives! XD

Anyway, this flash-back sequence is going to be about another chapter and a half long. But it'll be informative while also being intense, I promise!

Also...this, umm, isn't the worst that Bou will be going through... So, to all of those who said "Oh, I don't want Toshi to be abusive! He's so nice to Bou!" I hope I've changed and will continue to change your minds. ...And also... Please don't kill me *-*"

I'll update soon ^_^ R&R!


	3. The Open Wound

**Title: Stalker**

**Length: 3/?**

**Rating: PG-13 (subject to change)**

**Warnings: Language, abuse, yaoi-naughtiness later on ^_~**

**Pairings: Bou & OC, Kanon & Bou (one-sided), other pairing to be revealed, or discovered later**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my OC character, who is not intentionally based off of anyone**

**Summary: After putting up with his abusive boyfriend, Bou finally works up the courage to break up with him. But when Bou finds love from another, the ex vows that if he can't have Bou, nobody can.**

* * *

**Chapter 2 - THE OPEN WOUND**

_"Bou? Oh my God...Bou! Bou! Wake up! Please, wake up!" I felt tears running down my face as I got a better look at him. His face was red and his lips were blue from the cold. He was beyond freezing, he was might as well have been a part of the snow rather than a living breathing human. ' ..."Living"... ' Scared for his life, I kept brushing snow off him, revealing his less than prepared attire. "Bou, you idiot...what are you thinking?" I was surprised that I said anything coherent, since my only focus was removing any traces of snow from his body and making sure that he was still...alive. I winced as I thought that last part._

_I stopped brushing him off when I heard a groan, the sweetest sound I'd ever heard in my life. I smiled full of relief, since this meant that my best friend wasn't dead. I cupped his face in my hands, hoping to transfer some heat to him. "Bou, are you awake?" I said choking through tears. No response. "Please, say something, Bou...anything...Just let me know that you're okay...please..." After shaking him a bit to get him to stay conscious, he finally answered. _

_"...Oh...Kanon?"_

_"Oh, thank God," I whispered. "Come on, let's get you inside." I scooped him up and carried him over the threshold, feeling Bou violently shiver against my body. Placing him on his back on the couch, I wondered what to do to warm him up, fast. I ran to the bathroom and turned on the hot water in the bathtub, as high and as fast as it would come. I took a quick look in the mirror and groaned, annoyed. My tears had stopped, but my eyes were all red and started to become puffy, and my face had gained a pinkish glow from the cold. I took a couple of deep breaths trying to at least appear calm, and sighed. Becoming impatient with the amount of water pouring through the faucet, I was about to leave the bathroom, when I subconsciously took a second look in the mirror, and that's when I noticed the blood._

_I was terrified that it was mine, but it was only on one side, the same place where Bou's head was resting when I carried him. I'd remembered hearing that if you hurt your head, you lose the most blood out of any part of the body. My fear rose to worry, and I ran back out to Bou, who was sitting upright on the couch, still tremoring, his head, downcast to the floor, bobbing up and down. The remainder of snow on his body had melted. His hair was drenched and stringy, his face was covered in beadlets of water. As I got closer to Bou, it looked like he was crying, too._

_"Bou, are you okay?"_

_It looked like he was struggling as he lifted his head up to face me. I thought he nodded, but I honestly couldn't make out the difference between his nodding and his shivering. I gave a neutral response. "Okay, well, I've got the bath running so hopefully, that will make you feel better, alright?" He changed his facial expression a bit to answer again. I think it was the only answer that he could give me, given the shape he was in._

_I ran my hand through his hair, half to comfort him, half to find the wound. I was hoping so badly that I was mistaken, that it was my blood, or maybe just some random stain. But as I pulled my hand back, two fingers were covered in red. "Bou, you're bleeding!" He looked shocked as well, and gently lifted a hand to the same spot. He had actually touched on the spot, but only gasped when he, too, pulled back, red-handed. He looked up at me, looking emotionally shaken much like how he was physically. He suddenly wrapped his arms around himself to keep warm, and looked over to the source of the sudden chill. I looked, too. _

_"Ah, damn! I'm so sorry, I didn't even realize it was open..." I walked over to close the front door, and that's where I noticed a blood stain on the doorway. I looked back at Bou, horrified. I felt guilty for not noticing before, I felt like absolute shit now. Why didn't I realize that I forgot my stupid wallet and come home sooner? I walked back over to him, trying to appear calm. I couldn't help but ask again, but given this new discovery... "Are you feeling alright, Bou? Do you feel dizzy at all?"_

_Bou, looking at the floor, vocally answered for the first time. "A little..." I thought I was going to lose it again. He sounded so weak and frail, and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to help him. I looked down at him, trembling. "Do you think you'll be able to stand up and walk with me to the bathroom?"_

_He thought about it, and let out a quiet "Yeah," slowly rising from the couch. It was like seeing a baby trying to learn to walk as I watched him try to gain his balance, but he ended up falling backwards onto the couch again, with me trying to quickly catch him to soften the fall. He looked up at me defeated. I gave my shot at my first smile since this situation started. "Don't worry about it, I can carry you." He nodded once at the offer. I dipped down and picked him up like I had before, only this time being much more careful about his head, and this time, he managed to pull himself up and put his arms around my neck. _

_I carried him down the hall to the bathroom just in time, since the tub was nearly full with hot water. I sat Bou on top of the toilet seat, seeing him slouch over in the corner of my eye as I rushed to the tub and turned the water off. Bou looked borderline sick at this point, unable to support his weight even through sitting upright. Grabbing a hand towel from the rack, I handed it to Bou, who just barely looked up, confused._

_"For your head, to stop the bleeding," I offered him. He muttered an "Oh," and shakily took it from me, placing it on the back of his head. Making sure it was in the right spot, he pulled it back and there was a wet, dark red blotch dyed on the towel. I looked at my shirt again and like the towel, there was a new red stain joining the old dried up one. He followed my gaze and reached out to me, touching my chest where the stains had left their mark on my shirt. "I'm sorry, Kanon." _

_"Oh, this? Don't worry about it," I pulled out what I thought was a convincing smile, but as I looked back down at him, he appeared very guilty, like he was apologizing for more than my shirt. I started to feel a little hot, and noticed the room steaming up. "Umm, would you be able to get in the tub on your own?"_

_"Hmm?" Bou snapped out of whatever thoughts were consuming him. "Y-yeah, I think so..." _

_I lent him an arm for support as he stood up, taking my arm and rising carefully. He started using his free hand to pull at his shirt. "What are you doing?"_

_He looked at me confused. "T-taking off my shir-"_

_"-No time for that! You're in soaking wet clothes already, so it doesn't really matter that you get in with them on. Now, come on. The water's gonna turn cold."_

_"B-But Kanon-"_

_"It's no big deal. The only difference is that you'll be in hot, soaking wet clothes instead of cold ones, right?" He didn't argue with me and I helped him into the tub, fully dressed. "Now, just warm up in there, it shouldn't take you too long. I already have some extra clothes in here, on the rack that you can wear when you're done. And, umm, all you have to do is de-freeze and keep that towel to your head to clot the bleeding. Just yell for me if you need anything, okay?" He looked up at me and nodded. I was about to close the door when I heard him mutter, "Umm..."_

"_What is it?"_

_"...Thank you, Kanon."_

_I nodded in response and walked out._

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_I got back to the living room and took a good look around. My clothes and the doorway, which both had blood on them, made my house look like a crime scene. It was making me sick to my stomach, this whole thing. Nothing made sense anymore. Bou would never be so irresponsible to walk to my house, I assumed since I didn't see another car, in the middle of a snowfall, and especially the way he was dressed. But one thing I was certain of was that whatever happened with Bou, whatever caused him to get that gash in his head, I needed to confront him about it._

_I sat on the part of the couch that wasn't wet, and after a few minutes, I heard the door open down the hall, Bou coming into view a few seconds later. Thankfully, he looked much better now. His face and its features had come back to their normal pigment, he was walking around on his own, and looked a little more aware of everything. Unfortunately, that was all that looked better about him. I could tell he was still very bothered. "Hey." Bou looked over at me and offered a faint smile as he sat next to me. "How are you feeling?"_

_"Better, I guess," he replied. "I mean, I can walk and stuff." _

_I smiled. "I noticed." _

_Then came the awkward silence._

_"So-"_

_  
"Kanon?" _

_I paused. "Yeah?"_

_He turned to me, looking me straight in the eye. I'd never seen Bou with such a sad expression, or any sad expression at all. "...I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."_

_"Sorry? For what? It's not like you were planning to camp out in the snow, right?"_

_He let out a dry chuckle. "No, I wasn't. But, I mean, I made you worry so much. And I heard you crying earlier, when you found me..."_

_I looked down, embarrassed. I didn't think he was conscious to hear anything I said or did. "Oh, you did, huh?"_

_"Yeah... I feel so badly for putting you through all of that, I still feel badly. It's my fault, I guess."_

_"Your fault?"_

_Bou didn't answer right away, but seemed to debate if what he'd said was correct. "I- I mean, I guess it was...well, no...I mean...yes, it was my fault." He said his final answer quickly but it was too late, I'd caught the doubt before he could discard it._

_"Then why did you say 'no' before?"_

_"No reason." Another quick reply._

_I locked eyes with him. "Bou, why did you say 'no' before?"_

_Now that he knew I was serious too, he stopped dancing around the subject. "Well, just... It _is _my fault, I'm sure it is. I made him angry, so it's all my-"_

_I could feel myself tense up and panic. " 'Him'?"_

_Suddenly realizing what he'd said, Bou covered his mouth in shock and his eyes widened. "Oh my God... Oh my God, what have I done?"_

_I took him by the shoulders to get him to face me. "Bou, I'm not mad at you or anything. And I care about you too much for you to just let this whole thing go like it was nothing. Please, tell me what happened."_

_His gaze left mine, unable to hold as he whispered something I never expected to hear: "Toshi happened."_

_"Toshi? You mean that guy you've been going out with?" He nodded once. _

_"And now he's gonna kill me, I know it..." Bou's voice was cracking. I was still confused about...well, everything, but now I knew, or at least had a feeling that Bou's picture-perfect relationship with his boyfriend, Toshi, wasn't all the love and happiness that Bou made it out to be. I wrapped my arm around Bou, who was shaking again, this time, out of pure fear. _

_"Bou...Toshi's not a good guy, is he?"_

_This got him to look up. "He is! ...When he wants to be." He looked back down before continuing. "Everything was going fine at first... But then I found out that he likes to drink...a lot. And we had our first argument when he was drunk...It was something stupid, I can't even remember... And midway through, I saw his hand heading toward me, and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor and my cheek was stinging."_

_"You mean...Toshi hit you?" I managed to say._

_Bou nodded again. "But he was drunk! People do stupid things when they're drunk... And he said he was sorry when he got sober again and took me out to make it up to me. But then we started having more arguments, and then they started happening when he was sober, too. That's when I realized he had a temper, probably from drinking so much. And I got him mad a lot, so he would...hit me...but just to make me stop! He always felt really bad afterwards..." He trailed off. "But it wasn't like this in the beginning. I'm sure I made him the way he is, because he wasn't the angry guy that I'd met. I don't realize it a lot, I guess, but he says I get in his way too much, and that's why he hits me, but I deserve it. You're not supposed to make the one you love angry-"_

_I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't keep listening to this, hearing my friend say that he deserve to get beat up and defend the one that did it. I pulled my arm away from him. "Are you crazy?! No one in their right mind should _ever_ hit the one they love! He's abusing you, Bou! I thought you'd have enough common sense to see that."_

_"I have common sense enough to know that you're wrong. He doesn't just hit me because he feels like it-"_

_"But he still hits you!" I stood, too livid to stay sitting._

_"That's not the point!"_

_"Are you _kidding _me, Bou?! That's the _whole _point!"_

_"I...I should've never said anything. I should have never told you..." He stood up and started to walk away._

_"Where are you going?"_

_"Home! I don't need to sit here and be preached by you like you know everything that's going on in my life. I can take care of myself!"_

_"You can't go home. It's snowing outside and your house is miles away!"_

_"I don't care! I-"_

_He stopped walking or saying anything all at once. It was then that I noticed the back of his head dyed red. We'd gotten so into the argument that we both forgot about his cut that, no doubt, Toshi probably gave him. Suddenly, Bou fell to his knees and collapsed on my floor._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_I'd said I was going to go home, but I knew that was pretty much impossible. I just said it to get away from the lecture that Kanon was pressing on me, I couldn't take it that he was right. It was stupid of me to say anything at all, but the only reason I could think of as to why I so openly confessed everything was because I couldn't keep living the lie. I wanted someone to be in on it so I could save myself much needed mental energy that I constantly used to keep building up this other Bou and other Toshi and other blissful relationship that had existed once, but was inevitably lost. I vented and lost my cool, and maybe that was why I collapsed. Maybe I was being punished._

_But as I was leaving, I felt the darkness from before weigh in on me again and suddenly, I felt like I was spinning. My legs also seemed to go back to their toddler-like shakiness and I dropped to the floor, landing on my knees and hunching over. _

_"Bou!" I heard Kanon's scared voice echoing in my head, like he was my guardian angel always coming to my aide. He called out to me again and ran over, placing his warm hands on my back. "Bou, are you okay? It's just your head, you're still bleeding. Stay right there!"_

_How? I wondered. How can Kanon be so nice to me after everything I've made him go through? And now he's caring for me again. It was like that argument we were having two seconds ago didn't even matter. It was all so different from the fights I'd had with Toshi. Every time I got hurt, he'd still argue or hurt me more. But with Kanon, the moment I fell, the whole fight seemed... insignificant._

_I pushed myself up to find Kanon coming back with a towel for my head. "Here." He pressed it to my head, since I was occupied with supporting myself to do it. "How are you feeling?" _

_"Kanon...I..." That's when I felt the tears fall. I felt myself shaking and I lowered myself back to the floor. I was crying, and I couldn't stop it. After all that I'd been put through and after all the effort I'd put in covering for Toshi and myself, I had to let it go, otherwise I knew I'd go crazy. _

_I felt Kanon wrap his arms around my shaking back and we both remained unspeaking other than my sobbing. It felt like time stopped. It always felt like that whenever I was with Kanon. _

_"Bou," he started, as did time again, "I can't let you keep doing this to yourself. I can't...I... I know, I know that you're so much smarter than this, Bou. You know how badly this is affecting you. You can't keep..." His voice was breaking. He had this sort of quirk about him, whenever someone he knew started crying, he would, too. Tears of a loved one were contagious to him, and I felt like scum under the scum of the earth for putting him through this, something that I should be going through alone. 'It wasn't supposed to happen this way. You were never supposed to cry for me, Kanon...'_

_"You have to break up with him."_

_I muffled my sobs long enough to hear that, and panicked. "W-what?" I said in between very inconvenient hiccups._

_"Bou, you're my best friend and I love you and care about you so much, and that's why I can't let you go through this anymore." He finished with a new, more confident edge._

_I looked up and tried to hold in my anger towards the statement. I don't know why I was angry; everything that he said was true. "But Kanon, you don't know the whole story-"_

_"Maybe not, but I know that this is not good for you."_

_"Kanon, please believe me. This isn't an everyday thing." 'Lie', I thought. "And him hitting me is rare, really. Most of the fights we have are verbal." 'Lie.' "And, this really was the first time it got to this level. I can't even remember if or when the last time we had a fight like this was." 'Lie.' I always remembered every fight clearly, from the location, to the date, even to the weather outside that day. I took Kanon's hands in a last-ditch effort to change his already made-up mind. "Please, Kanon? I love him so much. I know that this is just a phase in his life, it's not going to last. I can feel it. Please, keep this a secret?"_

_His jaw dropped slightly at that request, and I couldn't blame him. I was shocked as it came out of my mouth, too. After a very tense silence, he sighed, releasing one of his hands from my grasp and using it to wipe tears still on my cheek. "I just want you to be happy, Bou..."_

_"And I will be, with him. Please don't make me end it, Kanon. I don't want to..." Now I was starting to break. I couldn't even hear myself say that last part. But I guess Kanon did._

_"...Fine. I won't tell anyone." _

_Our eyes seemed to lock at the same time; mine out of absolute disbelief, and his, with the most intense look of seriousness I'd ever seen. It was scary, and I knew right then just how serious he was about all of this, which made it all the more harder for me to accept, and even believe that I was and had been lying to him. "R-really? Oh, Kanon, thank you, thank you so mu-"_

_"But," he interrupted, "I want you to tell me anything and everything that happens between you two. Every fight and every argument. If it ever gets to this point again, Bou, I'm not going to do nothing about it like I am now. I'll make sure he doesn't put you through this again." I knew exactly what he meant. He was never one to hurt a living thing...ever, but I instantly believed him when he said that he would. "Understand?"_

_I nodded furiously, still trying to wrap my head around all of this, but stopped nodding when the back of my head burned with the movement. "I promise, I'll tell you everything."_

_He seemed to soften up a bit, but only that his eyes weren't holding that terrifying hatred for Toshi that they had before. "Alright, good." He sighed, and wiped another tear off of my cheek. "I guess it's time for bed, huh?" We looked over at the coffee table and the clock on it read _11:53 PM_. My, how time flies when drama is around... _

_Soon afterward, we went to his room, since, while I didn't actually say it to him, I think he could tell that I was scared to be alone, and we slept in his bed together. It was refreshing, in the sense that I didn't have to subconsciously worry for my safety even as I slept, as I had to with Toshi when we slept together, and I was at ease the whole night through. But I still felt like the worst person alive for lying to my best friend, the one whom I was currently cuddled up against. Kanon always makes me feel...safe, and I didn't want that to end, though I knew it would when I got back home. There was that stupid inner voice telling me to tell Kanon the truth, but I didn't listen. He didn't deserve anymore worries with me, he really didn't deserve any at all. So, I decided to tell him everything, while still lying. But it's for his own good, is what I resolved on. And with that, I found myself falling asleep in the light of my angel._

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

"... You know it's times like this I wish I didn't end up at your doorstep. Then I wouldn't have to go through this every time: You being know-it-all detective Kanon, and me being the helpless little victim girlfriend..."

"Well, that's how it is. I have to be like this, because I need to know that you're okay, and that you're not trying to cover for Toshi again-"

"I'm not! Kanon, why can't you trust me?"

Kanon paused, which to Bou, seemed like a pause of guilt and truth, but really, he was thinking of the best way to answer the blond. Sighing, Kanon looked at him with eyes full of a mix of hurt and sympathy. "I do trust you, I trust you with my life, you should know that by now...It's Toshi I don't trust. I don't think I'll ever trust him. And, as long as you're with him... I honestly can't trust your judgment anymore. I'm sorry, Bou."

Bou was dumbstruck. He was hurt. But mostly, he was upset. _'Trusting me but not my judgment... what's the difference? If you're going to be this way, at least tell me the truth, Kanon...'_

Kanon only then caught on as he saw the blond's eyes start to look glassy, like he was going to cry. He panicked, and slowly walked forward, extending a hand that Bou quickly denied. "Bou-"

"Kanon. Don't, okay? Just...don't..." He trailed off. His only confidant, though it was through a moment of weakness, didn't trust him.

At that moment, Teruki and Miku came back into the room in mid-conversation, but halted when they saw the tense scene between Kanon and Bou, and the other two stopped as well. Unable to contain his anger pent-up any longer, Bou glared at Kanon only for a moment, but long enough for it to sting everybody in the room, and quickly walked out the door that Teruki and Miku had just appeared from.

"Wow, umm... Kanon, what'd we miss?" Teruki innocently asked the second the door closed.

He and Teruki exchanged glances, Kanon's showing guilt and frustration strewn all over his face. Miku caught on somewhat and knew that what they'd witnessed was only a slice of a very unusually serious argument. "Hey, I think I'm gonna go check on Bou-kun, to see if he's okay."

Teruki also caught on and nodded to him, while Kanon was walking aimlessly around the room, deep in thought. And with that, Miku was out the door again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Bou was close to crying. He could feel it stinging his eyes and nose, his face heating up, and he couldn't let the guys see him like that, otherwise questions would be flying at him and, as it was with Kanon and himself, he would be interrogated yet again. He found his way to the fire exit which led outside to the cold March air. Hastily, he pulled out his cigarettes from his back pocket and picked the most appealing one from the pack. Placing them back in his pocket, he reached into his other pocket for his lighter, but couldn't find it. Hurriedly, he patted himself down in hopes of finding the missing lighter until he realized that, in his mad dash to the studio that morning, he'd left it on his nightstand.

"Shit..." Bou felt like crying again as he leaned against the wall. "Nothing's going my way today..." He rubbed his arms up and down to create some sort of friction that would warm him up. He wondered why on earth it was so cold out when Spring was nearly on its way, but thoughts were interrupted when the heavy red door suddenly opened, causing the guitarist to jump from the sudden sound. A head of light brown hair came into view.

"There you are! We were wondering where you went," Miku said, heaving out a sigh of relief. "I was worried about you, Bou-kun. What happened with you and Kanon in-" He stopped rambling when he noticed that same glassy look in Bou's eyes from minutes before. Miku made his way over to him. "Are you okay, Bou?"

Bou quickly shook his head to try to get the stinging in his eyes to go away. After taking a deep breath, he replied, "Yeah, just...stressed I guess?" He played it off with a forced laugh.

"Oh..." The brunette said deep in thought that Bou couldn't follow. "Well, yeah, the lives are coming up, I can imagine that everyone's nervous about it." He laughed too, but the difference was apparent; his was real. He shivered. "Brr! Oh man, it's freezing out! It's really supposed to be March?" In his usual hyperactiveness, Miku proceeded to jump up and down to create warmth.

"Yeah, it's really strange..." Bou answered just because. Just to keep the conversation off of himself, even though he wasn't too focused on it. He was, however, fixated on the frontman's bouncing, which made him smile a bit for the first time that day. Miku kept boucing until he noticed the cigarette in the amused blond's hand. "Hey! Good idea, Bou-kun!"

Miku proceeded to dig through his pockets, much like Bou had done moments before, until he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a white lighter with the Nyappy symbol etched on the side. He pulled out a cigarette from the bunch and popped it into his mouth, and lit it. He'd breathed out a sigh of relief, along with smoke, when he noticed Bou. "Did you forget your lighter again?" Miku asked, laughing at Bou's absent-minded ways.

Bou blushed embarrassed and slightly flustered, well concealed by the flush of color on his face due to the mix of cold and suppressing sadness. "Yeah, I did. I was too scatter-brained to remember even my guitar, let alone my lighter." He playfully stuck his tongue out as the vocalist.

Miku rolled his eyes at him as he lit the cigarette hanging from the corner of Bou's mouth. "I bet you'd forget that pretty blond head of yours if it wasn't attached to your body!" Miku laughed again, with Bou joining in. "But..." The brunette suddenly stood but a few inches from Bou, looking into his eyes with Bou blinking in confusion, "you do look tired. Rough night?"

"You have no idea..." Without thinking, Bou rubbed his sore shoulder. Until he realized that Miku was still staring at him. He quickly put the cigarette in the massaging hand, trying to remain cool.

"That's it, huh?"

"...What's it?"

"Your shoulder. That's why you were acting all weird and more spacey than usual, right?"

Frantic, Bou wondered what to say. _'Well, it's not like he can find out anything too bad if I just say 'yes'...' _"Umm, yeah... A couple of days ago, I bumped into a wall so hard that I fell over." Unfortunately, that wasn't a whole lie. He tried to laugh it off, but the uneasiness of being caught got to him, and his laugh came out nervous.

Luckily, Miku didn't suspect anything and laughed with Bou. "Is that so? You know, I never knew you for being clumsy, Bou-kun."

"I guess, but everyone has clumsy moments."

"Some more than others. Like Kanon! He's the clumsiest person to ever hold a bass!"

The mention of Kanon caused Bou to stop laughing. He knew Miku was just joking, but the last person he wanted to think about was Kanon...well, second to last person. "Yeah.." He muttered on the side of taking a puff.

"But seriously, Bou," Miku did a sudden 180-degree personality switch, and his whole demeanor went from playful to serious, "If it's bothering you so much, I don't want you to strain yourself just for us."

"Really, I'm fine- I'll be fine."

The switch in answers made Miku concerned for his bandmate. "Are you sure? You don't have to lie just for us."

A sudden pang shot in the guitarist's stomach, a surge of guilt was eating him alive. He wanted to cry just like he was planning to before Miku inconveniently showed up. He wanted to cry like he usually did to get rid of the horrible guilty feeling, it was his way of venting, it kept him sane, and able to continue his double life without such painful regret. "N-no, don't worry, Miku. I won't be a hindrance to you anymore, I promise." He smiled as sincerely as he could to his worried friend. _'Looks like the tears will have to wait until later.' _

After a long moment, Miku's expression finally softened, and his eyes held a more sympathetic look. "...Okay...As long as you're sure." He leaned against the brick wall of the building next to Bou.

"I'm sure," was Bou's reply.

Miku sighed as the two continued smoking in the cold, unforgiving air, Miku occasionally shooting quick, unsure glances to the blond. _'Bou...' _He thought, _'The last thing you are is a hindrance.'_

* * *

**A/N: **An update! Yay! XD

I've been slacking, I know, so I made this chapter longer by about 3 pages...though not intentionally. It was actually supposed to be two chapters but then a couple of people made me realize that it would've dragged on and on and...well, you know the deal, hahaha. So I combined them. I hope you guys don't mind!

Anyway, now that we're finally caught up from the past, it's time for some present twists and surprises. And I'm the only one who knows X3

Stay tuned, and R&R! ^_^


	4. In This Never Ending Merry Go Round

**Title: Stalker**

**Length: 4 1/2/?**

**Rating: PG-13 (subject to change)**

**Warnings: Language, abuse, yaoi-naughtiness later on ^_~**

**Pairings: Bou & OC, Kanon & Bou (one-sided), other pairing to be revealed, or discovered later**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my OC character, who is not intentionally based off of anyone**

**Summary: After putting up with his abusive boyfriend, Bou finally works up the courage to break up with him. But when Bou finds love from another, the ex vows that if he can't have Bou, nobody can.**

* * *

**Chapter 3 - IN THIS NEVER ENDING MERRY-GO-ROUND**

None of this had been good. Even though the confrontation-gone-wrong happened yesterday, he still couldn't find anything to take him out of his worried funk, and Miku cancelling practice "until further notice" wasn't doing much to help him either, nor did the mindless television watching, or sleeping, or pacing about his house for the past ten minutes. No, Kanon's mind remained troubled, plagued with a nagging anxiousness. All because of that damn naive guitarist.

His abrasion to his shoulder had by far been the biggest injury that Kanon had ever seen Bou gain from Toshi. Kanon wished over and over that Bou would gain some common sense to every hit and lashing he took from being with Toshi. Then again, he wished this every day for the past three months since that fateful night, and fate had not played in his favor. Sighing, he was just about to walk to an actual destination- the kitchen- to get a glass of water when he heard his phone vibrate. He rushed over to his coffee table, not bothering to check who the incoming text was from, but opening it all the same, _anything_ to distract him. But lo and behold, the text came from the source of his racing thoughts:

x

**From:** Bou (003-352-8764)  
**Subject: **doctors

so sensei said some muscles got torn, dont kno how tho. said i should rest my arm 4 4 days max. wat do u guys think?

x

_'What do I _think_? Oh, I'll tell you exactly what I think...' _Kanon was steaming. _'Four fucking days this guy is taking from you, Bou. Don't you see that?'_ Again, as Kanon did at least once a day, he wished _this_ would be what Bou would need to finally see Toshi for what he was. If he didn't realize it, Kanon would make it known now. But before he got the chance, there was another buzz from his phone, which moved against the ear in which he was holding the phone, interrupting his attempted call to Bou. Pulling it back, there was now a text from Miku flashing in his inbox.

x

**From:** Miku (003-834-5593)  
**Subject: **Bou

Hey guys. Did u get Bous msg?

x

'Guys' indicated that it was a chain text, and obviously the other recipient was Teruki, who sent a text back to both Kanon and Miku.

x

**From:** Teruki (003-866-3236)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

Yeah. So... what, we're not doing practices for the rest of the week?

x

**From:** Miku (003-834-5593)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

Im fine w/ tht if u guys r. Kanon r u there?

x

Kanon was trapped with his thoughts, a million questions going in and out, appearing and reappearing. And up until he read the text with his name mentioned, Kanon barely paid attention to the conversation. While he was still mad at Bou for letting things go as far as they did, he, above all else, felt guilty that he wasn't doing anything to help Bou. He couldn't. He promised. Annoyed with himself, he decided to focus on the conversation- literally- at hand.

x

**From:** Kanon (003-948-5357)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

yeah, i'm here. and yeah, that's fine with me too.

x

Kanon sat down on the couch, his leg bouncing up and down impatiently, staring at the phone in his hand as he waited for a reply, knowing deep down that this conversation wasn't going to be over with a simple "Okay, that's that, then". It hardly ever was. And his assumptions were right when he got a text back from Miku just a minute later.

x

**From:** Miku (003-834-5593)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

O ok. I wanted 2 talk 2 u about yesterday, but u left b4 I could ask. R things ok w/ u and Bou?

x

His bouncing leg stilled at that question. Kanon really was hoping his deep-down feeling was wrong, but it was dead-on. _'Figures'_. He wanted to end this, knowing that Teruki was reading all of this as well, so Kanon kept it frank:

x

**From:** Kanon (003-948-5357)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

yeah, i guess. why do you ask?

x

**From:** Miku (003-834-5593)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

I figured that u 2 had a fight wen me n Teruki came in the room, n Bou said he hurt himself walkin in 2 a wall rly hard. Is that wat ur fight was about?

x

Kanon couldn't take this. At what length would he really go to protect his best friend's darkest secret? It was killing Kanon, being one person when they were all together, and another when it was just himself and the blond who would take off his mask and reveal all of his unnatural imperfections, like he was saving it just for Kanon. Kanon was his go-to guy, his confidante; Bou could fall apart at the seams wondering what he's doing wrong to make Toshi keep hurting him like this. And Kanon would be there, hugging him- gently sometimes, depending on where his injury du jour was- and whispering that there was nothing he was doing that could be 'wrong'. Every fucking time. Suddenly, Kanon felt himself tearing up- not at Bou's expense, but at his own. He was so angry with himself for letting things go this far, for lying this much, for being able to sleep at night knowing that Bou could have very well been awake for hours nursing a wound. And now, he felt no control over his body as he punched in his response:

x

**From:** Kanon (003-948-5357)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

no. it was about the fact that he is and has been being abused by his boyfriend. toshi did that to bou, not a wall. it's been happening for months.

x

There it was. The truth, finally out there... almost. Kanon felt so relieved just typing that in, that it took him a minute to realize that he hadn't sent it yet. His thumb was lingering over the 'Send' key. Hovering over that green button- Go, send it, tell them. It was mocking him- You don't have the guts to do it. Why start telling the truth now? Is this what Bou would want you to do?

_'No, it's what Bou _wants _me to do,' _but in reality, Kanon knew that Bou _would want_ him to keep things under wraps. Kanon thought the opposite, that Bou really did want to tell someone, but Bou just didn't know it. Three minutes had passed and all he could do was stare at what he'd written. Would he really jeopardize every lie they'd made up to keep their little group together? Kanon thought their close, tight-knit group was anything but, but again, the others just hadn't found out at the same rate that Kanon did. Inadvertently, Kanon was the gatekeeper, holding all of the secrets. After a head-aching mental debate, and with one frustrated tear sliding down his hot cheek, Kanon pressed the red button, hard, deleting the message as if it had never existed. _'Why can't life be that easy?'_ Kanon wondered as he then typed a more 'innocent' response:

x

**From:** Kanon (003-948-5357)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

yeah. he was being stubborn. he wanted to practice even though he was obviously hurt, and i got mad at him for it, that's all.

x

"Fuck me..." Kanon's voice was coated with regret for this new lie as he leaned his tired body back against the couch. Why was he getting so concerned with this? It wasn't his problem; he wasn't Bou, nor was he Toshi- thank God for that. So why was he getting so emotional and upset?

Simple. He loved Bou.

Again, a buzz in his hand snapped him out of his trance.

x

**From:** Teruki (003-866-3236)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

Ahh... I was wondering if me or Miku did something to piss you guys off. You talk to him today?

x

_'Oh yeah... Teruki's still here.'_ How quickly Kanon had forgotten when he was caught up in his own world. He typed back rapidly, hoping the sooner he sent the text, the sooner this conversation would be over.

x

**From:** Kanon (003-948-5357)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

yeah. he said he was going to a doctor, though i don't know why. he hates needles and stuff like that.

x

It seemed to take a little longer for a text to come back to the over-stressed bassist, but he unexpectedly got two at nearly the same time:

x

**From:** Teruki (003-866-3236)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

It was Miku, I think. He convinced Bou to go somehow...

x

**From:** Miku (003-834-5593)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

I made Bou go. I kno about his hate 4 doctors, but I convinced him 2 go... or else we wouldn't tell him where practice was.

x

This reply seemed to piss Kanon off more than he already was. Countless times he'd told Bou to go to a doctor, but every time, Bou would brush it off, saying that it was just a vanity wound and it would heal on its own. So why now, with Miku's first time asking Bou, would Bou consent? This was all making Kanon's head spin and he really wasn't sure how much more he could take. Apparently, some time had passed, for now, Kanon had two more messages waiting in his inbox:

x

**From:** Teruki (003-866-3236)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

You blackmailed him? Why'd you have to bring me and Kanon into it, baka?

x

**From:** Miku (003-834-5593)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

Sorry! (-ω-) But since he was so set on practicin yesterday, i just used tht 2 show i was serious about his health.

x

A third came just as soon as Kanon had finished the second:

x

**From:** Miku (003-834-5593)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

And n e way, Bou said he just needed 2 rest it, but i don't want him 2 play w/ a bad arm, tho Bou prbly won't b happy about tht.

x

The end of the conversation was nearing, Kanon could feel it. He asked the question again to speed up the process.

x

**From:** Kanon (003-948-5357)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

so no practice til next week?

x

**From:** Miku (003-834-5593)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

Yep. O but make sure u guys talk 2 Bou. I don't want him 2 go crazy from the solitude or n e thing.

x

**From:** Teruki (003-866-3236)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

Got it. Keep us posted if needed!

x

**From:** Kanon (003-948-5357)  
**Subject: **Re: Bou

okay. see you later.

x

Desperate would have been the word to say what Kanon was. Desperate to end the conversation, and desperate to do what he'd been wanting to do for the past fifteen minutes: call Bou. He got Bou's number up on his phone again, and pressed it to his ear. To Kanon's surprise, he only heard it ring once before a voice came through the other side. But before Kanon could greet the voice, he was cut off.

**"Hey, Kanon. My phone's dying so I can't talk right now. I'll call you when I get it on a charger. Sorry. Bye."**

And just like that, Bou hung up on Kanon, even as Kanon was trying to get a word in between Bou's five-second explanation. Kanon couldn't wait. Everything he wanted to say to Bou for the past two days- and reiterate for the past three months were on the tip of his tongue, but Kanon had to swallow his pride and let it go. Though not before sending one final message.

x

**From:** Kanon (003-948-5357)  
**Subject: **(none)

hurry home and get your phone charged ASAP. we need to talk NOW.

x

And only thirty seconds later did Kanon get Bou's reply:

x

**From:** Bou (003-352-8764)  
**Subject: **Re: (none)

i kno

* * *

A/N: Wow! So according to my LJ, last time I posted a chapter to this fic was... in July of last year o-0 And with the hiatus of Antic Cafe and the fact that it's been nearly a YEAR since I've updated, I doubt anyone is still reading this, or any Antic Cafe fanfiction, right? *sigh* I'm sorry T_T

Also, sorry for this chapter's length. If you saw, it is one of two parts of chapter 3, because it's two in the f-ing morning and I just now got tired z_z So the rest will have to be written in a SOONER date. Sorry again, guys!

To those still reading this, I love you all for it! :D

PS: Sorry about all the x's, formatting was being weird... but it was all to distinguish the texts from the narration hahaa...

PSS: These are phone numbers with real Tokyo area codes, but they are NOT Antic Cafe's numbers, or anyone's numbers that I know of. I felt the need to put that in there in case someone tries something. I don't want to be another Tommy Twotone...


End file.
